Spay my roots (2001)

Spay my roots
When god gave me roots
Shameless, drunk and incestful
Didn't he know he was
Trying to plant some lives?

We are the stems
We are the sins
Dying stems of root's sins

Root says he nurtures me
Is he the first one to be?
Root spits poison in the bark's womb
Root's wine bark's whine
Though her tears try best to feed me
All I get is manipulated death

Every eve dwindles on his feet
With his stems
With his sins
Dying stems of root's sins

Says I saved the bark for thee
Is he the first one to be?

Says his leaf is a whore
Nettles his bark for her score
Says I love him no more
And all the weaves are splinding lies
So twilight has dwindling eyes
Whilst morning lascivious cries

For his stems
For his sins
Dying stems of root's sins

Says leaf thrives cuz of me
Is he the first one to be?

Day mindless, dusk blindness
Forpine fortune for some wine
My patience withers a wee
With every mention of the last sign

So why don't you help me out
And rip my roots apart
For I can't wait every day
When I know how do we spay

Small Impure God (1998)

I was very sad the day I wrote this song. It is about a girl I used to love a lot. I was sad cuz I wondered if she had sex with her boyfriend. I hated sex back then. For a few months. I have good reasons.

Small Impure God

God were you also small?
Like your friend?
Like them all?
Like my friend in that whore's debouch?
Like your idol with her in couch?
Ideal idols were never idle
They copulate out of trust
Rest manipulate out of lust
Orb gets soaked with Bible's waste
As every temple rides a brothel
If I am the wrong one complaining
Then I won't be alone in hell
But if what I breathed wasn't profane
Then you haven't been a sly
Or else you're not my god
And I'll stop asking them why.

Phoenix (1999)

Angry song. Very meaningless. Very Nirvana style. I can feel them sing to it.

Phoenix

Flowery smell of suicide
Bury by moisting with spit
You teach me how to live
Live life but how this shit
Stop giggling on my death
I know my life was the rue
You blame your itch on me
I blame my death on you
You parasites don't even defend
Feed the host, feed him with death
Coz my life was your ash
And my death is your phoenix.

No one is laughing again (2000)

I wrote this song when I was in 2nd year of college. It's about the feeling of being taken for granted

No one is laughing again

Smile to him
He's just a juvenile
He's about to smile..........
Just wait for a while

How many have laughed?
How many have cried?

Glee must glee
Emotions no avail
Laughter are his emotions
Laughter's no avail

He could always come
Two's a company, he's a crowd
Scoff is the name of the tale
Which never makes him cry

He is everywhere
But where is everyone?
He is the no one
Who likes everyone

Many have laughed
No one has cried

He's an actor
His ruction is our contorted eye
Frivolous and cunning
We'll wake him up after he dies

He's that horizon
Which sinks all the jeer
Poignant be our arrows
Horizon is never near

Ohhh.. And he is so priveledged
We wrote and spent some time
Now even if we spit
We should like wiping the slime

Celebrate my mortuary (2000)

This is a song with the most dhinchaak title of them all. Listening to death metal can overwork the mind.

Celebrate my mortuary

From life in dust
All leaves are born
You be the life, I'll be the dust
We'll plant our tree of ecstasy

Moans creep to the beauty
Seeing deception in wicked eyes
A nexus with the Oracle
Or be ruined with disguise

My angel and me
Holy grail and the priest
"dare the creep even say
maybe reminiscence of days"

Ugly creep munches and prays
Lack of water die like wish
Lack of love death my wish
Lose too often to save my asylum
Where the days when olives were omen
When doves sufficed for love
Look to the sky so clouds vanish
All the pieces fell to his wish

Horse sense says suicide
Nurture the flower beauty reaps
For once the beauty too agrees
Genocide of all such creeps

Welcome to my funeral wonders
Gather around this mince of mine
I'll be obliged for a mist in an eye
I'll be obliged for no glass of wine

From life to dust
My weaves were torn
Wished a free from an earth of rust
Render me an amnesty

Staring into the buried land
Feel the flowers of obituary
Feel the wine dripping down the earth
Celebrate my mortuary.

Common Heart (2001)

I really like this song. It's about the heart of an ordinary human being.

Common Heart
Hello world, I am in
Let me search below the skin
Pumping blood , Ugly words
Bitches score, Goddess whote
Money slap penury cap
Love her and die for her
Or rape her and death is hers

Sloppy vein, dirt can't drain
Hatred flow, dirty glow
Love that love and get some hate
Kiss this love and masturbate
These are friends, primitive ends
Renunciate? You won't win
Who sees pretence under the skin?

Pure blood, Pure dirt
Deep lies anarchy, creeps reap
Here's the artery, goodness weep
Umbra's close, father's dose
Mother of love, dying rose

Strand scouring? Welcome home
This is our baseless dome
Mixen Pie: Please Do Not Pierce
It can serve you for seventy years

Love Enough (1996)

Childish. Expressive.

Love enough

I learn everyday to laugh
My grudges are maybe green
You say I haven't changed a touch
I have..just a bit worse

I peek to see you smiling
I crave to see you just live
God tells that it'll make you cry
I pray that I haven't cried enough

I weep whenever you say sham
I'd love you to hear my screams
And if ever I get through them
I'll scream at you if I can't weep
That I haven't screamed enough

Why I live through every grim moment
Why I live of vanishing dreams
You say I haven't changed a touch
I have..I've lived too much

I wish I could love you more
I wish I could feel more weak
God tells that it'll make you die
If I haven't died enough

I'm there...only if you don't need me (2001)

The over-sensitive me met some assholes in college, helping me become asshole enough to compete with them.

I'm there..only if you don't need me
After the celebration of my mortuary
While trying to rest in peace
The source of my celebration
Wants to celebrate with me
Had stopping soaking the sores
Maybe thoughts were finding a way out
On the verge of my escape
Achieve the empty me I had sought
People realized that maybe I was bleeding
They care, so they feed me with thoughts
Like the waves that come
To wash the mound on my shore
And when the sea realize an owe
It sprinkles some sand on my door
For a soul that's been so numb
Your spit is as sweet as a kiss
All I'm asking for is ignorance
I'll do away with the bliss

Are you free? (Can't remember)

I don't remember when and why I wrote this song.

Are you free?

A loser is busy
Counting all that he could win
His shoulder is busy
For his tears aren't getting any thin

I have some spit hanging
And my friends are not free!
Though we are the winners
We're bending a wee

You hate yourself
So I am content
With all your smiles
That don't weep a while
The more so you do
And the more you hate christ
He makes life more pink
And sweet with glycerine

You upset me
I'll call you again
With more spit in my mouth
And this time live through your pain

How does it matter? (2003)

I totally hate the moment that made me write this song. I hate to even think about it.


How does it matter

How does it matter
Maybe it does not
But the silence of love
Shouted don't you dare speak
Whom will you marry?
And will you call me?
No, for my cough won't allow me to breathe
My boyfriend gifted me
Rarity of your sufferings
I really liked them
As my valentine
No, I haven't heard
That you hate yourself
But knowing your love hurts
It must be your favorite
You seem so busy
I can't answer my love
He told me to delve
Some lives and some crass
Satisfy my soul
To hear you not cry
Burst all your splinters
And hope you don't die.

Petty Picture (2001)

Petty Picture


Make it dark and focus well
So I may see it clearer:Yes I know this loser
His raped life and love
Ain't his mistake ya know
Some are born to be so
Know him since the outset
His nurturer is a bastard
His first love is dying
Elder hand when I last saw
Weary and still crying

Saves his face nicely though
Gotta big mouth and a ho
Though a scratcher
Has pickle pretence
Has fickle presence
Has giggle essence
I'm sure he sees his loser self
One day he'll have to let it out
And surprise all his pretence sufferers
Though he suffers the most himself

I've seen his palms closely enough
His jinxed life, his raped love
Future was looking gloomy as ever
I think he has a better option
That just letting these tears flow
Yes...I think he should die

Ok now turn to the next one
Lemme see if I know him too
Wipe these smiles off your ugly faces
And hurry, I am in love
What are these giggles all about
What must be wrong with all of thee
I got no time if you ain't answering
Life's too precious and pretty
To waste like this
Ohh...What a heavy breaking noise!
Glasses I suppose?
You and your deranged convulsions
Think you lose some fortune now
Put on the lights
I gotta go
See ya folks
Life's truly great
Ohh...What a heavy prick!
Glasses I suppose
Ohh...I am bleeding!
What reflections are those?

Trade for demise (1996)

I think this was the first song I wrote that made me believe that I can express myself through a song.


Trade for demise

Sold some love for some life
Sold some tears for some disguise
Tears wash my eyes
Am I happy or is it a try
Is disguise called demise?
If the world cares for me
Make me feel the world
Or have my tears washed my world?
And I've made a world of disguise
Or am I trying to feel my life
When disguise is called demise?

I want a million fingers (2001)

Wrote this song when I thought my mom was about to die. Touchwood, she hangs on till today.

I want a million fingers

I am seeing another goddess
About to leave my life
She said god was immortal
Now I know god's also lie

As she contemplates a wish
Of a soul trapped or escaped
I contemplate if in this reverie of love
I would have done with some hate

She used her finger for my nourish and sleep
To wipe the tears and the food from my cheek
Now when she is feeling to weak
And she sees that there is no food on my cheek
She rests her fingers and goes to sleep
As I fold one to count another day in this week.

We see wee (2003)

This is my favorite song. It describes shamelessness.

We see Wee

Losing my thoughts
You just came to my mind
Abate your pain
And I'll start to rewind
My grace feels for you
After an age without a smile
Concerns for you
From me and my conscience

Forget the words without a mind
Look at me now like you're blind
Just remember the jest of our perches
Cuz the jist makes me unkind

Oozing with aborts
Let's relive what's left behind
Imagine your gain
And me as someone kind
My embrace craves for you
Purging me took some while
Some burns for you
From me and conscience

Read the preface of our story
Burn the rest and make glory
Just forget everything that you remember
The rest, I will remind.
---------------------

Decoy of dreams (1998)

This song's about me chastizing myself for being over sensitive.

Decoy of Dreams

The sun used to rise
The sun used to set
He would have lived, he would have dreamt
But for the decoy being so wet

He used to win
He used to lose
He used to struggle
He used to cruise
Got up for tea
Drowsed with wine
Was nimble, had a minx
His life was just fine...

Then the shadow of sinister
Cast a decoy of dreams
In this river full of juice
He just swooned in his stream

The glass was half empty
There was so much to be won
Where are the stars in his background?
Where is the rainbow in his lawn?
There was so much still above him
The clouds, the star, the sky
Demi-jour in his orb
Life's maimed and worth a pie

He ran, He snatched
He scratched, He tried
He raked ran amok
He lost and he cried

Despair, munch and anguish
His dreams became his pain
His pain became his decoy
And decayed him to remains

He feels he has lost
He has folded, he is mute
He blames it on life
With his dreams his dispute
It's a pity he has lost
He has lost and he will learn

That the sun still rises
And the sun still sets
He should have lived , he should have dreamt
But he cried his decoy wet
He feels he has lost
Because he thinks he has lost
He blames it on his dreams
And I blame it on him

Cuz dreams are meant to be dreamt
Aren't life, just a whim
Not stopping him from dreaming
Cuz I want to see him soar
Not stopping his tears either
He should learn to suffer more
And all I want him to say
I live to dream, I dream I lose
I'll lose I'll dream, I'll dream I'll win.

Intimate (1997)

Miss Juhee Dubey, remember I wrote this for you on a greeting card?

Intimate
We had some moments
We have some solace
We loved from into ourselves
To each's everything

We are just two friends
Growing our olives
Lending all the hands
To make others' fall a stay

Did we ever cross
Did we cause a fray
We only find some comforts
In the thoughts of our way
For what we've been is a joy
Which we live everyday

We are our moments
We are our solace
We are just true friends
Sewed for our lives

I lose if we win (2004)

Just finished reading this song before I posted it here and I can't seem to recollect the reasons behind most of what I wrote. What I do remember is that this song is about a string of bad incidents that took place in one of the relationships that did not work out.

I lose if we winYou should buy me roses
And pray that the weather is good
My house is just 20 miles from yours
Can you come when the sun burns bright?
I'll be waiting outside my door
Waiting to see if the burns are worth it

If you teach me wonders
Then I'll teach you some lessons as well
What d'ya know about the subject anyway?
"Well, atleast I know what subject it is"
I will study criss and I will study cross
I will study crass
But won't run amok for the dough
I'll just run when life ain't grand

You should kiss me darling
Cuz today I am feeling like so
And wear your clothes when I strike the whip
Don't you ever try to use me
Cuz I've already used you enough
You bemuse me with your shallowness
I only used him with mine
Good you told me its my business
I thought I'd be caught naked again

You should fuck me fool
So what if I'm pregnant with lies
I only crossed my fingers and
Killed your unborn child
This non-issue isn't one that's worth
Either wait for the daily poke
Or just look in my eye
It's only my why
And only when I

You don't understand you bastard
I ain't suppose to lose in any way
Cuz I know criss and I know cross
And you know crass
So don't try to make sense
For I'll hate you more the more you rationalize
Cuz I'm conditioned to believe that I've always won
But being a winner with no losers ain't no fun
So I trample you to be the only one.

Dog Shit (2000)

I wrote this when my 3 months old dogs (puppies rather) were hit by my father because they would litter around the house. A rush of anger, which I could not vent out verbally came out through this song.

Dog-Shit

Play! Play! Play with me
Shit! Shit! Shit on me
Eat! Eat! Eat on me
Die! Die! Die for me
There is dog-shit in my house
And my parents are dying
There is dog shit in my house
Oh! We’re so clean.
You are rightly in my house
I’d love to see you dying
You are the toilet in my house
My dogs are so bright